1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
