Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
