the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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