I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
nutella sex= disaster
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
