he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
