The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
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i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
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