girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize