if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We were destined to go to rehab together
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize