R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
