After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
