Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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