i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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