My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize
