I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
