I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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