It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
