Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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