he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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