I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
