I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
