We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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