Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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