Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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