lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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