Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
