Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
