The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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