just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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