Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
