that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What drink are we having for lunch?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
