Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
