You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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