If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize