so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
