I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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