dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
