Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
