Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm passing your future prison.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
