I heard we made out
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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