I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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