i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
