69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
