i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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