Welp...herpes.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
