I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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