sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
