i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
