Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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