I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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