just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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