I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
