Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.

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(817): View more from Texas

He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night

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(585): View more from New York

there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer

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(313): View more from Michigan

Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.

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(563): View more from Iowa

The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.

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(804): View more from Virginia

She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.

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