I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
