you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Who died my cat blue again?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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