people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
