I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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