On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
